On Second Thought
by justsomeprettylightsinthesky
Summary: How about that season 12 cliffhanger? Emily does nothing useful and still gets the girl. I'm not taking it that seriously if you don't, cheers


CRASH.

Penelope's first, pained thought is _I should have quit already_. It comes to her all too often, and it suits this ugly moment. "What was that?" No one responds. Maybe no one hears her.

"Is everyone okay?" Emily's controlled, smart voice comes first through the speakers.

"Yeah, yeah we're good." JJ! More muffled responses, but no one speaks of any injuries. Garcia breathes.

When the second crash crackles through her speakers, lasting several seconds, 8 or 9 seconds of horrendous metal wrenching, squealing, and

Her fingers have already dispatched first responders to their location, where two blue blinking dots had just been racing down roads in the middle of nowhere, where now one blue dot blinked, solitary and still. She receives confirmation from the ambulance before she even becomes aware of the horrified shape upon her mouth. But now, she can only wait. Wait for communications, wait for doctors to make it to her friends, wait to know.

Images flood her mind, of flipped cars, the kind that blow up after wrecks. She sees bulletproof vest-sporting bodies, laying on asphalt.

The question comes to her mind: how much extreme force does it take to make sounds like that out of a government-issued SUV's frame?

 _I should have quit._

 _\\\\\_

The scene is dark. Prentiss can make out 3 headlights: two from the truck that barreled into them, pointing toward the trees, and one from the other car, pointing at her. She squints, trying to see into that car's windshield, but she can't see anyone there. She starts counting. _Me, Rossi, Lewis… JJ, Walker, Alvez… the truck driver_.

She fumbles for the car door. Dim pain registers, then it's sharp pain and Emily brings her hand in front of her face to see it's starting to bleed. She looks down to her right, and sees exposed sharp, silver twisted metal. _Fuck_.

Emily opens her eyes to bright white.

"Rise and shine." The voice is familiar. Rossi's face comes into view as he leans over her. She blinks and recognizes her surroundings as a hospital room.

"Ugh. What."

"You've been out for almost two days. You were treated for internal bleeding and you got seven stitches on your right hand."

She lifts the mentioned hand for inspection. "So I did. Wait, the team—"

"Mostly okay. Alvez hit his head, but he's in the office."

She sighs in relief. But he doesn't make any indication of agreement, and upon looking… she knows that look on his face. "What else?"

"I'm not supposed to say."

"I don't like the sound of that." Her head tilts on the last clause. "Is it bad?"

He doesn't answer, but one corner of his mouth scrunches up. "All right, you have to tell me right now, or I'll get it out of Garcia."

"He has JJ. She and the truck driver disappeared from the crash site."

There aren't words for the ugly feelings that hit her gut. "Fuck."

"The address Scratch sent Morgan does have a couple leads."

"I want those files brought here," she commands.

"No can do. I'm your boss for the next day or so," he says, in what would normally be a teasing tone, but not today. The glare she shoots him is deadly. "You have to get better. The team is working hard, and Morgan is lending a hand. We'll brief you when you get back to the office."

"One day. I want it tomorrow."

Rossi leans his head to the side. "Deal." He stands, and picks his jacket off the back of the hospital chair. "I'm heading back. Now… you have some visitors. Shall I let them in?" Emily nods, and watches the doorway curiously.

Penelope's here, and Spencer's here. Of course.

"Oh, hey there," Pen breathes. Emily says _hey_ back and forces a smile. "Rossi told you. I knew he would."

"Good." It's Reid. He's surprisingly straight-faced.

"Reid?"

His voice betrays an edge of anger. "I just got out of there. I just got my mom back."

"Spencer, I know—" When he cuts her off, she looks up, surprised. It occurs to Spencer that perhaps she has become entirely too used to apologizing.

"You think you know? My people are disappearing, Emily! And you're the one losing them!" She's speechless. He leans closer. "How many people have died on your orders?"

She knows the exact number… but not whether she needs to add JJ.

"Spencer, stop!" Garcia sounds like she's horrified. He storms out of the door. "We—we have to go, Emily," she says, quite shaken. "I'll call you. Feel better, okay? Do what the doctors say."

Ever composed, she manages a nod. Then she's alone.

\\\\\

She manages one full hour of good behavior before she's restless enough to use the call button. A young man in green scrubs walks in.

"Excuse me. When can I get out of here?"

"The doctor says you need another 36 hours."

She mumbles her response, just to herself. "Fuck."

The nurse is nice enough. "Look, I can see your job is important, but they'll be able to get along without you while you get better."

She bites her tongue. It's almost easy. "Thanks."

\\\\\

She's definitely doped up on pain medication, but strange noises in the night never fail to wake Emily Prentiss.

She keeps her eyes closed and her breathing even, pretending to sleep.

There's a shuffle to her right, between her and the door. Not that she could very likely make that escape, being down for the count. The next sound she hears unnerves to her bones.

"Shhhh."

Her eyes snap open, but a wet cloth immediately covers her face. The stench, though rare, is unmistakable.

 _Fucking chloroform? Is this the nineteeth century?_

 _\\\\\_

The space is dark. The only light source is a weird rectangle to her right, and the rest is vaguely glistening rock wall.

"Emily?"

The faintest ambient light filters through the thick glass, and when her eyes adjust, she can see the shape of Jennifer, and the outline of her face. Light thinly lines her jaw, nose, and brow.

"JJ!"

"Emily! I knew you'd find me!"

"JJ… I didn't." Oh.

Oh. "I just… I know. I got excited. I didn't expect to hear any of you unless… I thought…" _I thought you were here to save me_. Though JJ doesn't say it, the look on Emily's face says plainly that she hears it. Rarely has she seen her look so brokenhearted. Not since September… This time, she throws her arms around her boss. "Hey. The team is looking for us. What do we know?"

Now Emily looks even more miserable. "I don't know anything. I've been in the hospital." Her voice transforms from regretful to concerned. "Wait, were you hurt in the crash? Did he hurt you?" This last question is tinged with anger.

"I'm fine."

"What does that mean?"

"Sore neck. It's fine." JJ breaks Emily's questioning gaze. "Why were you in the hospital?"

"Stitches." JJ looks at her skeptically. "Some internal bleeding." She abruptly changes the subject. "Henry's okay. We told him you had a very important job and that you miss him."

JJ takes a moment to answer. "Did you tell him that?" She gives Emily a look that she can't quite work out.

Emily nods. "Will was… he needed a minute."

"Well, this is why we divorced," she mutters. Guilt and old arguments ghost across her face.

 _It's not the first time Jen has spent the night on Emily's couch, although as she confessed, she'd been arguing with Will like this for months before ever appearing at her door. Emily is fairly familiar with the conflicts._

 _"He doesn't think I want to keep our promise to Henry."_

 _"Of course you do!"_

 _"The team is always at risk. It's not like I can play it safe and keep all of you safe, too." A pause, and pleading eyes. "Em. Do you need me?"_

 _No. The team has always carried on, whenever one of their members was lost or walked away. But that's not the whole question. Em-do-you-need-me?_

 _"Yes." She doesn't trust herself to choose a pronoun for the follow-up. We need you on the team. More truthfully: I need you._

"Oh, but you're okay," Emily breathes, her hand reaching out on its own to reposition a lock of blonde hair out of JJ's face. "We were worried." She bites her lip, reconsidering her omission in light of their location, and then takes one of JJ's hands in both of hers. "I was worried."

"I'm fine. I'm okay." Even now, she is calm, and the way she looks at Emily says she's trying to convince her. "They're looking for us."

"Yeah. They're looking for us." She hesitates, then speaks the uncertain promise out loud. "They'll find us."

It occurs to Prentiss to let go of JJ's hand.

"Okay. Tell me about this place."

"Food every other day. Man-made space," she gestures at the high walls all around them.

"How do you know?"

"Blast marks," she says, and takes a few steps toward the wall. Emily follows, and reaches to touch the area JJ points at. It's a strange ridge. "Anyhow, it could be worse."

"Yeah, no kidding," Emily responds quietly. The captivity horrors they've seen... she wouldn't be able to count on her hands the places that would be worse. "What about the unsub?"

She shakes her head. "Haven't seen or heard him. It could be an accomplice. But food comes through there in the morning. An arm reaches through: if we need to, we could grab it, even break it."

Prentiss raises her eyebrows. "Good thinking."

JJ flicks her hair out of her face and locks eyes. "Men always think I'll be easy to hold captive. Well, they've been wrong every time, and I'm fucking tired of it."

Emily smiles, loving the conviction. But soon, her face falls. "Oh, JJ, I'm so sorry you're here."

"Psh. It's not your fault."

She's at a loss for a response. _It's my job to keep the team safe. Spencer said…_

"Emily?"

A few years ago, she would have dropped it, but she's learned to be honest in front of this woman. "We knew he was going to surprise us."

JJ steps closer, but doesn't touch her. "It was a trap."

"And I sent us into it."

"No." She frowns. "We're a team. We went into this together. Did you blame Hotch when unsubs got one up on us?"

She nods, distress revealing itself in her eyes. "Yeah. Sometimes."

"Well, I'm not blaming you."

She sighs. "Thanks, Jen." Her gratitude is genuine. "But maybe you should. Spencer is."

"He's frustrated. You've been there. He'll move past it."

"Yeah. Thanks."

\\\\\

It's dark. It's certainly hours past midnight, but they're awake. "Jen. Come here."

So Jen sits next to Emily, who wraps one arm around her shoulders. The two of them, with knees up to their chests in the ominous shadows, listen for any changes in the fragile silence. They listen to the other's breathing, even and focused.

JJ makes a motion that confuses Emily, despite its simplicity. She turns toward her and touches her head to Emily's neck, then slips her hand around her waist.

Despite herself, Emily presses her lips to JJ's head and though Emily doesn't know it, JJ closes her eyes and focuses on the two points of contact: the pulse she feels tapping on her temple, and lips on her hair. She allows herself a few moments to appreciate the soft give of Emily's torso under her hand; it contrasts the cold, hard cell under her freezing ass.

Those few moments stretch until JJ realizes her eyes keep sliding shut. She lifts her head slightly, but Emily talks to her quietly. "Get some sleep. I'll wake you up." So she rests her head again.

Prentiss should be exhausted, but her eyes don't even flicker.

She'll be damned if she lets Scratch get them again.

It's the middle of the day. They've passed hours and hours and hours in silence, and they've spent hours more running conversations and escape plots dry.

Em chews on one particular question: the exact diction, should-she, shouldn't-she? It could open a can of worms… but it's also innocent enough.

"When you were having trouble with Will, did you go to Garcia's, too?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Uh, what did she say?" Prentiss scrambles together. She hadn't planned for such an open response.

Weirdly, now JJ seems off-balance. "Um… mostly what you said."

Should she ask? Fuck it, they're in some fucking cave. "Was there something else?"

"Yes." The answer is so short, Prentiss waits for the rest of it, but it doesn't come.

"JJ?" She's still quiet. Maybe a slightly different question? "Did I say something that Garcia didn't?"

She nods, and seems to be done answering questions.

\\\\\

About halfway through JJ's watch, Emily starts coughing gently in her sleep. At about two-thirds through, she's restless enough that JJ wakes her.

"Em. Emily. You were coughing. Are you alright?"

She starts to speak, then clears her throat. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Do you want me to take over?"

"No. Get your rest."

Over the next couple hours, she starts coughing so violently that JJ, failing to wake her, carefully puts her head in her lap, hoping to shield her from the rock floor.

When she comes to, JJ breaks a smile through worried tears. "Emily. Hey." She pushes Emily's bangs off her hot forehead. "You've lost consciousness. You're feverish. Tell me everything you remember about your condition at the hospital."

"Oh, um…" she obediently recites her symptoms, medications, doctor's statements… "I don't know what else."

"That's great, you're doing great." JJ knows she needs to keep her conscious. Tell me about… your favorite day in school."

"Wow… Graduation." They smile, but she doesn't elaborate.

"How about a favorite teacher?"

"Sister Marion, Professor Burke… high school English and… undergraduate physics."

"Physics, really?" JJ laughs a little. "I'm surprised. What books did you like in Sister Marion's class?"

"I mostly… liked…" she swallows, laboriously, "the discussion…" JJ can just picture little Emily in her mind's eye, raising her hand confidently to make smart and insightful points about whichever text was at hand.

"I bet you did, smarty-pants." She abruptly resumes coughing. "Whoa, sit up with me. Sit up." With her back against a wall, she gets Emily to put her back along her side so she can support her with one arm around the waist and one hand stroking her head. Sitting up seems to significantly help the coughing.

 _Okay, next steps. I need to be able to get up if she loses consciousness and the door opens. I need to get her water. I probably need to keep her conscious as long and as much as possible._

"Hey, Em."

"Hm."

"In a little bit, we're going to get you to sit against that slanted rock over there. You think you're up for that?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's do it."

"Okay. It'll suck for a few minutes though."

Just then, the door opens.

A hooded figure steps in.

The door slams shut with a heavy metallic thud. She can't move fast enough.

The man reaches up to his head with his hands, and pulls the cloth bag off.

"Rossi!" JJ can immediately feel the buzz of adrenaline loosening its grip on her. He walks over and squats to be at their eye level.

"It's good to see you two."

JJ lets out one laugh in relief. "Likewise."

"How are you doing?"

"She's lost consciousness, and she keeps really coughing… Can you help me sit her up over there?"

Rossi nods, takes Emily's biceps in his hands, and asks her, "Ready?" She nods. He lifts her, and JJ gets to her feet. Together, one on each side, they walk Prentiss to the slanted rock.

"What do we know?"

"Scratch is targeting Reid. We've gotten a few messages. I'll tell you everything, but what's going on here?"

JJ recounts the uneventful happenings as well as Emily's rather concerning decline in health. "But I think there's something we can try."

\\\\\

In the morning, when the disembodied arm thrusts a box of crackers through the door, Rossi grabs it, hard, and pulls.

JJ grasps the pointer finger and yanks it backwards. "Listen up. We need a doctor."

The response is a long groan. _Ughhhhhhnnngngh_.

She pulls again, and he yelps. "I will keep hurting you if you don't do what I say. One of us is coming in and out of consciousness. She needs medical attention."

The answer comes through gritted teeth. "Can't."

She yanks again. "Oh, you're going to need to get that set."

"No, no, no, please, no," the man starts pleading, loudly. JJ and Rossi share a glance. Before they can make a next move, he starts screaming.

Blood floods his cotton sleeve, _from the other side of the door_. A terrible, second voice declares: "Keep it."

"Oh my god, he's cutting off his arm," JJ rushes, and Rossi lets go.

The arm withdraws quickly, but none too gracefully.

They stare at each other.

"Well, fuck. That didn't work."

\\\\\

BANG. BANG.

Rossi and JJ immediately jump up and stand protectively in front of Prentiss.

BANG.

They meet eyes.

CRASH.

A heavily geared-up SWAT agent steps through the doorway. Rossi punches the air.

Next is Spencer, who meets JJ halfway in a hug. The relief she feels is immense, and her heart leaps at his words. "We're taking you home."

"Emily's sick, be careful," she starts, but Derek's there, crouching by Prentiss.

"Hey, princess," she hears him say. Derek's here, and he'll keep her safe. Two EMTs come jogging through the door with a stretcher, and Spencer guides her out of the cave to make room.

Now that they're out of the cavern, things feel shockingly normal. Like, of course, in her regular, real life there are giant SUVs with police lights. The wind is cold and annoyingly in-her-face. Spencer guides her to the passenger seat of one of those SUVs, and wraps her in a blanket.

"You could still go into shock." She nods.

"Is she going in the ambulance?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Let me go with her."

Spencer nods, squeezes her hand, and walks off toward the square-ish ambulance. She watches as he talks to a third EMT, and holds her gaze when he points toward her, and the young gentleman looks her way. He shakes his head repeatedly. Finally, Spencer jogs back to her.

"They won't transport others. But we can escort the ambulance with this," he lifts his gaze to the wider vehicle. "Does that work?"

"Yeah." She swallows. "Yeah, thanks Spence."

"No problem." He says it softly.

Just moments later, the EMTs and Morgan emerge.

Lewis hops in the backseat, and so does Reid, and Morgan runs to the driver's seat.

"We need an FBI escort for Emily Prentiss," Reid says.

Morgan starts the car and flicks on the lights. "You got it." He says it to Reid, but he looks over at JJ. She nods, and he wheels them out of there.

\\\\\

Emily opens her eyes to bright white.

"Ow," she squeezes them shut. "Fuck."

"Oh, hey there," someone says, breathlessly. "Spence, can you get the curtains?" It's Garcia.

Spencer and Penelope are here. Of course. There's rustling, and the room grows considerably darker.

"Try that, babe. Take your time."

She pops one eye open, then relaxes. "Um."

"Yeah?" Penelope sounds like she would get anything for her, if just given the word.

"JJ?"

"She was here, but she didn't want to hang out with Henry in a hospital, you know. But she's okay, and you just need another night here but you're okay too, and we got the guy. Well, it was mostly Spencer who did."

Emily coughs, then nods. "You found us. I knew you would." She stretches her fingers, and Garcia takes her hand.

"Spence. Thank you."

"Garcia, can I have a minute?" he breaks his silence.

"Oh, yeah okay, I'll get some coffee." The words tumble out of her mouth fast.

"Thanks."

Emily waits until after the door clicks shut. "What is it?" she asks kindly.

He struggles to speak. She waits, and then: "I shouldn't have said it. I was wrong." Out of habit, she starts to wave him off, but he persists. "You keep people alive. That's what you do. You make people safe."

She's honestly not convinced, but touched that he would make a point of saying it. "That's what you do, too. You got us out of there. You got your mom back."

He gives her one of his half smiles. "You did, too. I heard about the Amber Alert you put out. The brass might come back to talk to you about it, sorry."

"Don't be."

\\\\\

Prentiss has been back at work for a little over a week. It's not unusual for JJ to visit her in her office so early in the day, but one piece of this visit is. It's the way she wraps her hand around Emily's wrist, and says, "Come over."

"I have a late meeting," she responds hesitantly.

"Okay." She nods, and then looks back up at her. "Come over."

Something small and nervous rises in her chest. "Okay."

\\\\\

"White, red, or beer?"

"Red." JJ picks up her bottle opener, and Emily continues. "I've been thinking about this all day."

"What about this?"

She steels herself. "You." JJ stops and meets her gaze. So she says it again, and she says it right. "I've been thinking about you all day." She can't stand the silence, and the inscrutable curiosity in her eyes. "Did you do that on purpose?"

JJ doesn't answer. She continues opening a bottle of wine. "California," she says, vaguely.

Emily spots the label. "Their cheese plates are shit. But the tastings are good."

"Oh… oh, you've been? To this winery?" Emily nods, a smile spreading across her lips. "Fuck off," JJ laughs. "Do I need to get top shelf cheese for you?" She hands one glass to Emily.

"Nah. But I wouldn't say no to a nice cave-aged gruyere." JJ blinks. "Too soon?"

"No." She smiles. "To the team." They touch glasses. "Cheers. Come sit with me."

JJ sits on her little loveseat, and Emily takes the armchair. She's a picture with her wineglass in hand, a tidy mid-ponytail and white business shirt.

She doesn't miss how Emily considers her, too.

"How was the meeting?"

"Mostly a waste of time. Could have been an email." JJ smirks, knowing that feeling all too well. "And how are you?"

The polite reciprocation tugs something loose in JJ's bundle of nerves. "Better now." Emily smiles.

\\\\\

They're well into the second glass. It's not the wine that loosens her tongue so much as the nagging feeling in her mind. "JJ... is there something you want to tell me?"

She presses her fingertips to her glass, holding it in both hands, and it takes her a moment to respond. "I don't want to be in that position again."

Ice grips Emily's heart, slow and cold and tight. "Are you quitting?"

JJ actually _rolls her eyes_. "Not anytime soon. That's not what I'm saying."

Emily waits for JJ to choose her words, but they don't come. "What are you saying?" It comes out almost as a whisper.

JJ looks up. Sets her wine glass on the end table. She sits upon the arm of the chair Emily's in, and places her hand gently on her shoulder. It's incredibly, unexpectedly intimate.

"Jen…"

She almost absentmindedly wraps her hand around Emily's neck, instantly raising chills, and meets her gaze, looking into one eye and then the other. Her words come out close to a low, raspy whisper. "What do you think is going to happen?"

What a question. Emily's gaze drops inexorably to her lips, and she forces herself to look back up. _What do you think is going to happen?_

It's not just the physical proximity, though that certainly does help fuel the images running through her mind. If she just slipped her arm around JJ's waist… If she just pulled her closer…. But it's the intentional intimacy that makes her bite her lip and answer the question. "I think… I'm going to kiss you."

As if she's been waiting for nothing more, as if Emily's said just the right thing, JJ leans in and kisses her. So Emily does put her arm around her waist and pull her closer, and kiss her back. JJ threads her fingers into the edge of Emily's hairline and takes her lower lip between her teeth. Emily exhales, and then carefully brings her mouth to JJ's neck, who moans when she pulls gently with her lips. JJ presses her fingertips into Emily's arm, as if to say _don't let up_. She gasps when she feels teeth, and takes this woman's face in her hands to kiss it, cheeks, jaw, and lips.

She pulls away to meet her eyes, and brings one hand to Emily's shirt, grasping the fabric and thumbing her collar.

"Wait, let me…" Emily starts to say, and sets her wine glass out of the way.

"You're still holding that?" JJ laughs in surprise.

"Not anymore," she responds, and the smirk on her face gives JJ butterflies. She lets Emily pull her off the arm of the chair and onto her lap. Her touch is light, but not hesitant, and her eyelids flutter shut when she traces lines along her back through thin jade green satin. She opens them when she feels Emily's hand upon her cheek.

"What do you think is going to happen next?" Emily asks. It's a loaded question; what could happen in the next few moments? JJ knows what she wants to happen now, but she's likely also asking about after today.

Her hands answer the immediate question by undoing her own top button, and she answers the larger question by asking, "Can I come over tomorrow?"

Emily smiles. "Please." She watches JJ undo two more buttons, then takes her by the lapels and brings her in for another slow kiss. She casually traces JJ's bralette for long enough that she pulls away and meets Emily's eyes with desire.

"Take me to bed."

So she does. She takes JJ's hand, walks to her bedroom, and pauses at the doorway. "I'm a third date kind of girl. When it matters."

"Okay." JJ presses her lips to Emily with a heat that the brunette starts to feel between her lungs. When she pulls away, her gaze switches between Emily's eyes. "Come to bed." Without breaking eye contact, she starts to unbutton the rest of her shirt.

Emily swallows. She puts her hand on that exposed abdomen, and spreads her fingers. When the last button is unfastened, she slides her hands around JJ's waist, on skin, and kisses her for a long time. It might normally be too intimate, too soon, but it's what JJ has wanted since long before Garcia advised her to suss out the situation a year ago. Her next action, then, is motivated by a desire for closeness, for their skin to touch.

Her hands close on the hem of Emily's shirt. "Can I take this off?" When she receives a nod in response, she pulls it over her head, then returns her hands to her shoulders. She thumbs one red bra strap, and when she looks up at Emily, the look on her face is like nothing she's ever seen. Emily slides one hand into her hair, and with the other, pulls her close so that their bodies are touching. When their lips meet, it's water.

Emily guides them, lips still locked, to the bed. But it's JJ who pushes her onto her back and straddles her legs, so Emily regards the woman above her and says, "Take it off." She does, exposing a black bralette, then plants her hands onto the comforter on either side of her shoulders. "Come closer." So she lays herself alongside Emily, who turns her face to kiss her deep and slow... at first.

When they finally fall asleep in JJ's bed, it is without a second thought.

A/N: Tbh I just tuned in for the last 2 eps of the season bc I'm dumb: now I have to suffer through the hiatus. Fuck.


End file.
